Monday, August 10, 2015

The Myth of the Killer First Line

Photo by Nawal Al-Mashouq
How many times have you been told you need to have a killer first line? As a writer, that directive can be crippling. What does that even mean, a killer first line? Are readers expecting blood and guts on my first page? If I'm writing a Dexter novel, maybe. But the truth is that particular bit of advice has been repeated so often, I think it's lost a bit of its meaning. The result is droves of aspiring authors beginning with gimmicky first lines or unnecessary action. You don't need to create the most amazing first line written in the history of literature (although bonus points if you can and please send it to me). All you really need is a first line that intrigues the reader enough to want to keep reading.

First lines are important, that much is true. There are a number of things a first line can do:
  • establish voice
  • introduce character
  • introduce setting
  • pose a question
Those four items aren't exclusive, many first lines accomplish some combination of the four.

Establishing Voice
Voice is a buzz word you're probably tired of hearing about. It's this elusive creature that's hard to pin down. Basically there are two types of voice, author voice and character voice. Author voice is the way you, as an author, put words together to convey a story. Give ten people the same plot outline and every single one of them will write it in a different way. Author voice is unique to you. Character voice, on the other hand, is separate from author voice. In first person novels those lines get a bit muddled but bear with me. Character voice is the way your character talks, their world view and the filter through which they perceive events. Those three things should be different for each of your characters.

Introducing Character
This one is fairly self-explanatory. A first line can introduce the view point character, main character or some other character who is important to the plot. This normally means more than just giving us a name, but occasionally a name is all you get and sometimes that's enough.

Introducing Setting
Again this should be self-explanatory. First lines can help ground the reader in a particular location and setting. It's painting your background canvas before you add the main elements. This normally works well if your setting is either important to the story or plot in some integral way or if it's quite unusual.

Posing A Question
This doesn't mean literally asking a question, although it can be done that way. Instead, what I mean is using your first line to make the reader want to know more. Make them curious. If you can get your reader asking questions, they'll keep reading to find out more.

Below are examples of first lines from some of my favorite books. Let's take a closer look and deconstruct them.
"The early summer sky was the color of cat vomit." - Uglies by Scott Westerfeld
Westerfeld is setting the scene, but he's also giving us character voice. We know it's summer, we know it's sunset. But look at the word choice: cat vomit. Would you describe the sky that way? I know I wouldn't. So already we know this character sees the world a bit differently than most people and she is probably not happy at the moment. Happy people don't compare sunsets to cat vomit. Read further and you'll be introduced to Tally Youngblood, a protagonist impatient and unhappy as she waits for her sixteenth birthday and the operation that will turn her pretty, like her best friend Peris.

"I would very much like to know why my mother named me 'Enola,' which, backwards, spells alone." - The Case of the Missing Marquess by Nancy Springer
Springer begins her novel by introducing character and a question. Why DID her mother name her Enola? What does being named Enola mean to this character? Does she feel alone? The use of 'I' let's us know right away that this is going to be a first person novel and if you look at the word choice you can see that this character is oddly formal: "I would very much like to know" as opposed to "I'd like to know" or "Why'd mama name me Enola?" See how those slight differences give us voice? it's a different character who'd say 'mama' versus mother. If you read the Enola Holmes books you'll discover that Enola is Sherlock Holmes little sister and thus the books are set in the Victorian era so Enola's formality makes perfect sense.

"I don't trust Clive Fagenbush." Theodosia and the Serpents of Chaos by R. L. LaFevers
LaFevers begins with a question. WHY doesn't the character trust Clive Fagenbush? And that certainly sounds like a shifty name to me. I'm intrigued and want to know more. Read further and you'll discover that the main character, Theodosia, is plagued by Fagenbush, an assistant curator at the museum she suspects is up to something underhanded.

"In the land of Ingary, where such things as seven-league boots and cloaks of invisibility really exist, it is quite a misfortune to be born the eldest of three." - Howls Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones
Jones begins with setting, which, in the case of a story set in a magical land, is both important and unusual. We also get a very strong dose of authorial voice. You can tell right away that Jones has a bit of whimsy in her soul and she's going to share it with you.

"A long time ago, in a market town by a looping river, there lived an orphan girl called Plain Kate." - Plain Kate by Erin Bow.
Bow begins with both setting, character and authorial voice. You can tell right away with the words "A long time ago," that we're settling in for something of the fairy tale variety and Bow quickly delivers on that promise in the following paragraphs. There's a lyrical beauty in the cadence of her words and that hint of authorial voice is also paid off throughout the story.

"Of the first few hauntings I investigated with Lockwood & Co. I intend to say little, in part to protect the identity of the victims, in part because of the gruesome nature of the incidents, but mainly because, in a variety of ingenious ways, we succeeded in messing them all up." - The Screaming Staircase by Jonathan Stroud
Stroud hits us with character voice, character and a question all at once in his opening line. I immediately want to know more about Lockwood & Co. and how exactly they messed up the hauntings. We're also given a hint of setting because clearly we're in a world where hauntings are common or at least more commonplace than the present day and, based on the formality of the speaker, we can tell this probably isn't a tale set in modern times. Character is established with the word 'I' and the information that this person is an investigator. Voice is established with the formality of the character's words and the little bit of cheekiness in how she's basically saying, hey there were some really interesting cases and I'm not going to tell you about them.

"Today I moved to a twelve-acre rock covered with cement, topped with bird turd and surrounded by water." - Al Capone Does My Shirts by Gennifer Choldenko
Choldenko leads with character voice and setting. The words "twelve-acre rock" and "bird turd" are fairly distinctive. The word "turd" tells us this is probably a young character and his word choices let us know he's not happy about the move. In the case of this book, setting is very important so it's fitting that Choldenko begins with that. The main character is stuck on Alcatraz because his dad works at the prison.

As you can see from the examples above, there are a lot of ways to begin your story. Notice that none of them started with a bang, a ton of action or lots of drama. Each of those first lines, however, works perfectly for its given story to entice the reader to delve deeper into the book and keep reading. Each accomplishes a particular goal and each of those goals relates back to the type of story being told and what's most important to that particular novel.

What is your first line accomplishing? Try playing around with different first lines and find the one that works best for you and your novel. Remember, it doesn't have to be action packed to be perfect.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

The Ears Have It! K.T. Hanna Talks Sensory Details & Her New Novel

CHAMELEON Domino Project Front with Text 2
"Wow! A fast-paced, science fiction delight with fabulous action, a seamless world, and the most unique characters I've read in a long time." Elana Johnson, Author of the Possession Series.
 
What I learned writing Chameleon:
Sensory descriptions and fleshing out the world.
I think one of the great things I learned was overcoming my writing weaknesses. Now, I’m not saying I don’t have them anymore, because we all know that would be a lie. But – I do know what my weaknesses are.
One of the main ones is sensory description. I love science-fiction. And whether it’s contemporary based, futuristic, or off world – there is always a world to build. The thing is, there’s more than just sight. There’s all the other senses – feel, taste, touch, and smell.
Unless you round it out, your reader won’t experience it like a movie in their head. I’m very fortunate to have a CP who points out specific areas of weakness in my worldbuilding. Sometimes, even when I think I’ve done it well, I go back and realize it needs more oomph.
Utilizing all the senses in building your world really fleshes it out. I wish it was something I could do off the bat, but it takes me several edits to get it to where I’m happy. And even now, I’m sure when I read Chameleon again, I’ll find places to add more. Always the way, right?
 
The Blurb:
When Sai's newly awoken psionic powers accidentally destroy her apartment complex, she’s thrown into an intensive training program. Her only options are pass or die. 
Surviving means proving her continued existence isn't a mistake--a task her new mentor, Bastian, takes personally. Her abilities place her in the GNW Enforcer division, and partners her with Domino 12, who is eerily human for an alien-parasite psionic hybrid. 
After eliminating an Exiled scientist, she discovers nothing is what it seems. With each mission more perilous, Sai must figure out who to trust before her next assignment becomes her last.
Available at:

Amazon | Kobo | iBooks | IndieBound

If you'd like a signed physical copy, Watermark Books has them in stock.

CELEBRATION!
We're having a blog hop, and an e-card & mega swag Rafflecopter giveaway!
The blog hop stops are noted below. Each day has a different theme and you can find out about the process, the idea, and the evolution of Chameleon, and even a bit about K.T. by visiting each blog, when their posts go live.
4-Aug 5-Aug 6-Aug 7-Aug 10-Aug
Fun facts about the book What I learned writing Chameleon Author Interviews The world of Chameleon The Evolution of Chameleon
Manuel Soto Marlo Berliner Leatrice McKinney Rebecca Enzor Patricia Lynne
J Elizabeth Hill Stacey Trombley Dawn Allen Sharon Johnston Bex Montgomery
E.L. Wicker JC Davis Suzanne van Rooyen Mandy Baxter Madelyn Dyer
Jessie Mullins Andrew Patterson Heather Rebel Jessica Therrien Carissa Taylor
Emma Adams Lady Jai Elyana Noreme Kendra Young

I’m giving away e-cards of your choice from B&N, iTunes, & Amazon – one to the value of $25, and three to the value of $10! Each prize includes a swag pack of a magnet, sticker, bookmark, postcard, and mousepad!
Just follow the options listed on the giveaway and you'll be entered!

full swag pack

About the Author

Me Squared

KT Hanna has a love for words so extreme, a single word can spark entire worlds.
Born in Australia, she met her husband in a computer game, moved to the U.S.A. and went into culture shock. Bonus? Not as many creatures specifically out to kill you.
When she's not writing, she freelance edits for Chimera Editing, interns for a NYC Agency, and chases her daughter, husband, corgis, and cat. No, she doesn't sleep. She is entirely powered by the number 2, caffeine, and beef jerky.
Note: Still searching for her Tardis
MUG

Sunday, August 2, 2015

It's Pitch Wars Time!

I'm so excited to be participating as a MG mentor in this year's Pitch Wars contest! Don't know what Pitch Wars is? You can find all the details here. Basically, it's made of rainbows and puppies and writerly dreams with a sprinkling of stardust.

I write YA & MG books and I'm represented by the amazing Mandy Hubbard of the D4EO literary agency. My debut novel, a YA contemporary called CHEESUS WAS HERE, will be released summer 2016 by Flux.

Reason's you want ME as your Middle Grade mentor:

1. I am insanely obsessed with books. This means I read a LOT and I'm very familiar with the YA and MG markets and what's popular.


2. I spent six months in the query trenches before landing my dream agent. I have a great eye for queries and I know the pitfalls to avoid and just the right way to catch an agent's attention. My request rate for fulls and partials was 3 times higher than the average Query Tracker user according to QT statistics.

3. I was a Pitch Wars entrant last year so I know the excitement, anxiety, heart-ache and sheer insanity you are going through right now.


4. I kick-ass at critiques. Seriously, I've got references and everything. I'm a details kind of girl and I can spot a plot hole at fifty paces. I eat awkward sentences for breakfast and spit them back out all pretty, if a bit spit covered. That metaphor got away from me.

5. I own two hedgehogs. There is nothing more therapeutic than a cute hedgehog pic when you want to pull your hair out because you've edited the same sentence 500 times in a row. Cat pics are cool, but hedgehog pics bring the true adorable to town.


6. My nerdy t-shirt collection is awesome and faintly disturbing.

7. I can curl my tongue. It's a talent.

8. My hair is teal (not green, don't listen to those pro-green people telling you lies). Teal hair is cool. So are bow ties.*


9. When I'm annoyed I get a British accent because I lived in England for five years when I was a kid. British accents are adorable so even when I'm pissed off, which isn't often, no one takes me seriously because I sound like I just want tea and biscuits.

10. If you pick me as your mentor, we will work together to make your novel kick literary ass. Your query will shame all other queries with its sheer amazingness.**



What I'm looking for:

I have a soft spot for fantasy and excellent world building.

I love a good mystery.

Voice will win me over every time (and yes, I know we're all tired of hearing about voice, but it's here to stay.)

Spooky stories were my bread and butter growing up and I still own every Christopher Pike book ever written.

I love a good twist.

Some of my favorite MG books:
the Harry Potter series, the Percy Jackson series, May Bird & The Ever After by Jodi Lynn Andersson, Theodosia and the Serpents of Chaos by R. L. LaFevers, anything written by Diana Wynne Jones (but especially the Chrestomanci series & short stories), Plain Kate by Erin Bow, The Frog Princess by E. D. Baker, the Enola Holmes mysteries by Nancy Springer, The Devil's Arithmetic by Jane Yolen, the Artemis Fowl series by Eoin Colfer, the Septimus Heap series by Angie Sage, The Screaming Staircase by Jonathan Stroud, The Emerald Atlas by John Stephens, Doll Bones by Holly Black, My Sister Lives on the Mantlepiece by Annabel Pitcher, The Last Dragon Slayer by Jasper Fforde, Out of My Mind by Sharon Draper, The Cabinet of Wonders by Marie Rutkoski, The Dragon's Eye by Kaza Kingsley, The Familiars by Adam Jay Epstein, Leviathan by Scott Westerfeld, The Water Glass by Kai Meyer, Savvy by Ingrid Law, The Goblin Wood by Hilari Bell, The Spiderwick Chronicles by Holly Black, and Love, Aubrey by Suzanne LaFluer. I could honestly keep going for pages and pages, but this should give you a good sense of what appeals to me. There's a little bit of everything as you can see. I warned you I have a book obsession.


What I'm NOT looking for:

There's pretty much nothing, other than erotica (and who the heck is writing MG erotica?) that I'll say a flat out "no" to. However, there are a few things that may not be the best fit for me. Never say never because for every rule there's some book I've fallen in love with that falls into that category.

Hard sci-fi. If there are spaceships and aliens, your novel is going to have to work extra, extra hard to capture my heart.

High/Epic fantasy. This means sword & sorcery books. Think Eragon. Again, there are books I've loved that fall in this category so nothing is set in stone.

Anything over 90,000 words. Even for MG fantasy, that's pushing the boundaries.

Books in Verse.

Anything that is poorly written or with a ton of grammar mistakes. I don't expect your book to be perfect (if it is, you shouldn't be entering PW anyway, go sub that thing to agents!) but I do expect that you've taken the time to make sure it's not riddled with spelling, grammar and punctuation mistakes that make me feel like I'm reading something Google translate just spit out. This is a deal breaker.

Books written by my CPs, betas and friends. I already critique for you guys! Go flood my inbox via normal channels.


What you can expect if I pick you as my mentee:


You will work your butt off on revisions. I'll provide broad feedback as well as detailed, inline notes on your manuscript. We'll both be working hard to make your novel as polished and perfect as it can be. Whether we win Pitch Wars or not, your novel will be ready to wow agents and publishers and your query will be poised to win requests.

My critique style is very thorough. Your novel will likely bleed red when I hand it back to you, so please don't pitch me if you're not willing to work hard on revisions or if you can't take constructive criticism. I will cheer you on and listen when you need to complain about the evils of commas and I can cheerlead with the best of them, but I will also push you to do your absolute best. I will ask a million questions about your novel and I'll tell you bluntly if something isn't working. I put in a lot of time and energy when I critique a manuscript and I'm sure you'll do the same when you revise.

For submission guidelines, go to:
www.brenda-drake.com

Make sure to check out all the awesome mentors helping out with Pitch Wars this year:


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*I don't wear bow ties.
 **amazingness is difficult to quantify, but your query will also kick ass.